We’re all a little afraid of something. Sometimes, we’re a lot afraid! What I hear most women say they’re afraid of is failing. The truth is you’re not really afraid of failure itself. Because really, you know you’ll survive that. You always have, right?

You’re afraid of what others will think if you fail.

When you operate from that place, you are running your business and life emotionally. I got this message loud and clear from my coach and mentor this week, as he put us all to a challenge some of us felt very uncomfortable with: getting on the phone and calling our people.

If we’re afraid of what people will think, we’ll sit on the sidelines, waiting for a miracle – waiting for them to call us! (And the truth is—it turns out that most people are thrilled when I call them.)

When we wait, we are forgetting that we are offering to help change people’s lives! That is what your good work does!  Sometimes the call is just a “Hello, how are things going for you? How can I help?”  Other times, it makes sense to offer something specific to help them.

Here’s the most amazing thing that happens: the calls seem to come at the right time. I hear women say over and over again: “I can’t believe you called at this moment.” Sometimes they cry, sometimes they’re excited, sometimes they’re confused (yes, and sometimes they feel like it’s a bit of a bother, but that’s the minority, and it’s typically either fear rearing its head, or simple logistics.)

When is an ideal time to change your life?  NOW!

I’m not saying miracles don’t occur – they do every day – but if you sit idly by, they’re generally not coming TO you because you haven’t put the universe on notice that this is what you want.  You haven’t started moving the energy and your actions in the direction of your goal. You can wish all you want, but you have to act “as if” your success is guaranteed. Otherwise, your fear gets the best of you.

Have faith and the fortitude to do what needs doing, no matter how you feel. I know all of you who are super intuitive are saying things like, “I trust my intuition to guide me. “ So do I most of the time. And that’s great. But you have to actually check in and make sure it is your intuition that is communicating with you. Be sure that it’s not your subconscious being incredibly “logical” in telling you to stop, to listen to your fears. Why would you listen to that message? Because, weirdly, it feels safer. If you’re not having the success you want in your life, my guess is that it’s not your intuition talking, it’s your fear and false belief systems that are monopolizing the airwaves.

When you’re afraid to act, your fear grows and grows until your dreams begin to wither.  The fear becomes the thing that guides you – and the emotions that come along with that become your business or life plan. That is reactive living, not proactive living.

So what do you do? You make a decision about what you want – and then you go out and act. You stop waiting. You stop letting the fear win.

Remember, if you have the desire, you have the ability to achieve that desire.  As long as you keep taking steps, the “how” will reveal itself.

It’s your choice. Every day, in every moment. Which do you choose? Fear or success?

Who wants to make a quantum leap in their life? “I do. I do!!” and I want to keep making quantum leaps! It’s not always easy (see last week’s blog post) and it can get mighty uncomfortable. But, have you ever heard the saying, “If your dream doesn’t make you uncomfortable, you’re not dreaming big enough?”

The truth is, if you let yourself really feel your way into your dream –all the way in– it really should make you a bit uneasy. The goal you set should be worthy of you and all of your gifts. So, when you feel uncomfortable, welcome the discomfort as a sign that you’re stepping into who you were meant to be.

Price Pritchett says, “The only risks that aren’t a little scary are the ones you’ve outgrown.” What that means is that what is scary to you now will become comfortable in time. That is part of the growth process, and that’s also good news. You really can adapt and grow past that uncomfortable part. For awhile. Then it’s time to grow again. Then that gets uncomfortable. And so it goes.

Being comfortable with being uncomfortable is the secret sauce. So how do you do that?

Here’s my list of the “top ten ways to make a quantum leap!”

1. Develop some strong faith. Leaping can be scary, so you need a way to develop faith. Tap into your own divinity and know that if you’re capable of imagining it, you’re capable of achieving it!
2. Know that it’s okay to be scared. See if you can transform that fear energy into excited energy. Excitement and enthusiasm for your goal keeps you going. Fear stops you.
3. Remember that fear is only a thought. Fears come from old (false) ingrained thinking patterns that tell you that you can’t, you’re not good enough, not worthy, and all those other excuses for stopping.  Look at the fear honestly and for what it is, then tell it to take a hike. It will keep popping back up, especially in the beginning of a leap, but move forward despite it. That is how you develop the muscle of confidence that you can.
4. Do what you’re afraid of. It will make you stronger. It will catapult you into that quantum leap. Courage is not the absence of fear, but acting despite it.*
5. Allow failure. No one likes to fail, but failure is simply a part of the process. that gets you one step closer to achieving. It’s just as important to know what doesn’t work as what does. No one achieves great things without failing a whole bunch of times. Develop a thicker skin by believing in your dream.
6. Let them criticize you. When you start changing and leaping, those around you might start freaking out a little bit. People don’t like change and they tend to rebel against it because they’re scared when you change. Remember, “What they say is about them. What you hear is about you.”
7. Readjust your ideas about yourself. To break through roadblocks, you have to believe you can have a breakthrough. Stop saying why you can’t, why you’re scared and why it’s not working. In other words, lose the excuses – which leads me to:
8. Honestly assess when you’re making excuses. Essentially, they’re all excuses. Not enough time, money, the kids, your partner, your job, your age, your weight. You know they’re just excuses for not moving forward because you’re scared.
9. Stop judging. Everyone. Including yourself. (Assessment is different!) Embody the “isn’t that interesting” approach to life and observe without judging. When you judge others, it means you’re judging yourself. Judging fuels excuses and kills your faith.
10. Enjoy the ride. We’re here to live, try, make mistakes, move on, grow, leap. Don’t let the fears, judgments, uneasy feelings, anxieties or criticism stop you from dreaming and being in the moment. Accepting what is and working with that allows you to truly enjoy life and the leap.

So, what’s it going to be?

Let’s get uncomfortable.  I’m right there with you! 

* This quote has been attributed to so many people in different variations, from Mark Twain to Ambrose Redmoon.