DR. TERI GOETZ
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Monthly Archives: November 2012

Time for YOU during the holidays?

Posted on by Teri Goetz


During the holidays it’s go-go-go! We easily become stressed, short-tempered and overwhelmed. I have a very simple suggestion for you that might seem obvious, but I don’t see a lot of people (outside of my clients!) doing it!

Take time for self-care!

Seriously. I’m listing some ideas here to help you fill your oil lamp, put the oxygen mask on yourself first – however you want to see it. Taking care of you is vital to your, um, vitality! As well as your sanity.

It’s also worthwhile to understand that you are teaching others, by your behavior, how they should treat you. If you are playing the martyr, not asking for help, doing or giving too much, others will continue to expect that of you. When you begin to realize that:

  • It’s okay to ask for help
  • Your home doesn’t have to be perfect
  • It’s fine if the home décor doesn’t reflect a Martha Stewart magazine
  • Everyone deserves time to refuel
  • Sometimes good enough is perfect

… you will enjoy yourself much more, and teach those around you how to treat you. You’ll also be a role model to remind others about self-care. (When you teach by example – whether to your kids, friends or colleagues, this is actually a position of leadership! Imagine what your kids, etc. might learn about taking care of themselves. Isn’t that what you want for them?)

So, I’d like to offer some slightly different suggestions for self-care. I’m a big fan of the mani-pedi, or get a massage or facial, but here are a few things you might not have thought of, and that don’t cost a cent. They should all last between 15-30 minutes, although some can be “quick-fixes” during stressful moments.

  • Breathwork: Stop and take time to relax.Using your breath is one of the most effective and efficient ways of oxygenating your blood vessels, relaxing your muscles, de-stressing, and improving your mindset. Here is a simple exercise: lengthen your exhalation to twice the length of your inhalation. So, if you naturally inhale to the count of 4, try lengthening your exhalation to 8. This will slow your heart rate pretty quickly. You can also just spend a few moments breathing into your heartspace. Simply think of people and things you love, and breathe that. If a negative thought begins to enter your mind, simply acknowledge it, and let it go.
  • Take an aromatherapy bath: simply soaking in a warm tub with essential oils will transport you. Light a candle, and just be. Try not to organize to do lists, worry about dinner or who you should be calling. Your brain needs time to relax. You’ll be much more efficient when you do. Try: lavender, rose, chamomile, geranium or sandalwood. I also like ylang-ylang and lemongrass, personally! (PS: This would be a good place to try your breathwork!)
  • Create your own afternoon tea ceremony: I’m not talking traditional black English tea because you don’t need the caffeine! Choose an herbal (or white or green tea if you must have some caffeine) tea. Find a beautiful teapot and/or mug that gives you pleasure to use. (If you don’t have one, it might be a nice holiday gift for your list?) Choose something with a great aroma, like rose, lavender, or citrus. Really enjoy the aroma, the ritual of creating the tea, and promise yourself that you will just sit and look, reflecting on the beauty that is outside your window. If you live in a warmer climate, you might take a beautiful, slow walk with your tea.
  • Learn to SEE: We spend so much time choosing gifts, rushing around, that we rarely stop to notice the (mostly!) beautiful decorations, the light snow on the trees or the blue sky at dusk. Take the time to breathe in the beauty of the season, feel it fill you up inside, making the decision that you can choose your focus at any time. It’s supposed to be a season of joy, not panic or stress.
  • Exercise: Okay, this might be one that you’ve thought of, but I can’t stress enough how important it is to move in some way, every day. Even if it’s 15 minutes of stretching or yoga, you must lubricate your joints, move the lymph around and pump your blood around your body. In Chinese medicine, exercise moves stagnant “qi”. It’s one of the best mood boosters in the world. Find some good classes, go for a walk, or take time to do something on a mat in your home.
  • Engage in rituals: There are many rituals you can google on the internet. Whether it’s using products you buy to indulge yourself during your shower or bath, or “smudging” yourself and space, or maybe using prayers, crystals, or plants to connect to your spiritual side, you can find innumerable ways to create a ritual that teaches your body, mind and spirit that it’s time to relax. If you do these things often, your body will be trained, in a Pavlovian way, to relax once you begin the repeated actions.
  • Use music: in any of these rituals, especially if it is relaxing, although jumping up and down and dancing to music can also be a treat for you!
  • Cuddle someone or some creature you love! No explanation needed.

All of these ideas are things that are great to install in your calendar! If you don’t put it in as something you must do, you will easily fall to the bottom of your priority list. Schedule time for you, and look forward to it!

Enjoy!

A Gift for You

Posted on by Teri Goetz

Holidays are often bittersweet. We (generally!) love being with family and/or friends, we love the sharing of stories, the non-denominational feel of being grateful. We love the food!

But, as my friend Robin says, people tend to bring their baggage in along with their pies on Thanksgiving! Let’s get a handle on that, shall we?

When someone pushes your buttons this holiday, first, take a breath. Second, take a step back and look with a bit of objectivity. Third, realize that “what they say is about them, what you hear, is about you.” Most often, people are talking about themselves – but you often take it personally.

Usually when you feel that zap of a negative emotion, it means you are in your subconscious, negative belief system about yourself. It has nothing to do with the other person! I don’t care how nasty, obnoxious or angry you feel someone is being, it is always up to you, what you do with it.

It is so empowering when you release your attachment to wanting someone to behave differently than they do or, when you no longer get “charged” by someone’s perceived “dig”. When you can step into neutrality and objectivity, you will be freed by the chains that you bind yourself with!

I am also aware that Thanksgiving can be a lonely holiday for some. The holidays tend to shine a light on our feelings of isolation and separation. For those of you who are feeling this, first, I send you love. Second, I offer some suggestions:

  • Know that you are fine in this moment (and repeat that to yourself often)
  • Find love for yourself within.
    • This is the first step to both attracting who you want into your life and for being ok in the quietness of being alone.
  • Do something wonderful for yourself
    • This is a great opportunity to “change your story”. Instead of feeling victimized by your story or feeling abandoned, why not try moving through that and into creating a beautiful day for yourself. Do something you have wanted to do for a long time, something you haven’t gotten around to doing.
  • Write in a journal what you are  grateful for. By focusing on that, you move into the vibration of abundance and attract more into your life. This doesn’t mean it happens magically (although I’ve seen some pretty amazing miracles). You do need to do something differently. You need to be aware of the opportunities to bring more of what you want into your life, and act on them with conviction.

Enjoy listening to this 5 minute affirming meditation (right-click to download). It will help you move through your holiday with grace, ease and a sense of abundance. Please listen at least once/day! (see below)

I am so appreciative and grateful for each and every one of you. I am honored that you are a part of my world, and grateful to do work that I love.

Sending you a warm, Thankful and Giving hug today!

Step into Extraordinary

Posted on by Teri Goetz

stylized women with green hair

We’ve all heard of the importance of positive thinking, affirmations, visualizations and having dreams. But often these goals feel somehow so amorphous, that sometimes it feels a little like “hoo ha”, doesn’t it? Here’s the key: if you make it just a mental exercise, it is ineffective. It’s not hoo ha, it just doesn’t work as powerfully as when you go beyond the mental.

When you attach a feeling to what you want, it taps into a different part of your brain and spirit, and (without getting too technical) you get the message that this change is a good thing. When you associate change with something positive, you’re more inclined to do it. If it feels painful to change, we tend to run in the other direction.

A good example — as always! — is dieting. The thought of “giving up” sugar can feel daunting. But, when you start associating the positive idea of how good you will feel, how healthy your body and brain will be, the more inclined you are to avoid the sugar, instead of feeling deprived.

Our brains do not embrace change, because it makes us nervous. I’ve said it before: change feels out of the ordinary (uncomfortable) and even dangerous to us. We like our ducks in a row, and while we theoretically might like the excitement of change, we tend not to like the reality of change too much.

Yet, we yearn for change. How ironic is that? We want something different, but we’re afraid to DO something different.

So I’m going to give you a challenge: decide that just for today, you are going to do one thing differently to get a different result. Write out a list of why you want to do this thing differently, and what the results will be. Start writing positive associations with the change you want to make, and include being proud of yourself for doing something in a new way.

Now, what I’m about to tell you might seem contrary, but it’s not. Here goes: at the same time that you do something in a different way, it’s important to love “what is” in your life. When you stay in that love vibration, you will start to attract more to love in your life. It works pretty much magnetically. You can love what is, because it got you where you are and taught you some valuable lessons. You can also let go of habits that no longer serve you.

I suggest you be as objective as possible in this part of the assessment. You can and hopefully will feel love, of course, but try not to feel any bitterness, resentment or anger toward a situation you want to change. Why? You are actually putting more energy on the very thing you want to be different, and then you lose the positive emotional vibration to create positive change.

So, step into the extraordinary, the different. Start to leave your fears behind (or at least behind you!). And each night before you go to sleep, create a mental list of all the things you did today that make you feel proud, happy, blessed and loving the growth.

As Heather Small says, “It’s never too late to try….What have you done today, to make you feel proud?”

There’s no time like today….

(art: KA Kathryn June)

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