You are, by nature, a community-oriented animal. You feel safe in groups, for biological and social reasons, and you respond to the environment you are in. You’ve probably 
heard it said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Look around. Who do you get your “juice” from? The power of proximity can’t be over emphasized. The influence of your tribe on your success and happiness is huge.
I am an entrepreneur, and it can be pretty lonely even though it’s enormously gratifying and ripe with personal growth (as they say, owning a business is the best personal development course you can take!). I pick my tribe very carefully because I know how important “my people” are to my life, experience, and belief system.
Everyone – from entrepreneurs to stay at home moms – seeks out a tribe of people to help them feel loved, appreciated, understood, and safe. They need interaction and human connection. Who you choose to have in your “tribe” is crucial. This is true of working in corporate or small businesses, as well. (For the most part, you are choosing the people you spend your time with.)
Simon Sinek, in his new book, Leaders Eat Last talks about the nature of organizations (tribes) as one highly influenced by its leaders. He says,
“Why do only a few people get to say, ‘I love my job”? It seems unfair that finding fulfillment at work is like winning a lottery; that only a few lucky ones get to feel valued by their organizations, to feel like they belong.”
This organization can be a small business, a corporation or even, a family. Whoever “leads” the organization has an enormous impact on its culture as well as how – or whether – each individual feels valued.
Here’s a funny twist, though: Leaders, of course, are those who run organizations, but, no matter what role you carry, you are a leader – whether you see it or not. You lead either by choice, or by default. (Meaning, you choose a certain behavior or by not choosing, you are also influencing others by your behavior.) Why? Because those you are interacting with are influenced by you. You may have a boss, but you are still influencing those around you by the way you conduct yourself, the kinds of relationships you foster, and the very nature of your values.
You are also influenced by those around you. When you are in a job you hate, a group who doesn’t value you, or a family that has no boundaries, you are profoundly influenced.
So, I have two questions:
- Do you love your job?
- Who do you hang out with?
Think about this: How do your answers to those questions play out in your life? Which groups are you in where you feel or don’t feel valued? What is it that makes you feel that way? If you are the leader of your group/business/ home, what kind of culture are you cultivating? If you are not the “leader” or are the “co-leader” what kind of culture have you allowed yourself to participate in? How can you gather the tribe you want around you so that you can do the work and have a life you love?
It’s not a new concept, but one that is truly pivotal to your performance, happiness, and sense of success in life.
Think about it…let me know which side you come out on!
