Part I: The Past and The Letting Go (so you can be present)

I want to piggy-back on last week’s blog post about compassion and self love, where I wrote a bit about letting go. “Letting go” is such a cliched phrase that I felt the need to expand on it and talk about how it plays out in the art of balancing Past, Present and Future – in the NOW. It’s all up there, jumbled together in your head, so how do you sort it out?

Because this can be a sort of “heady” subject, I’ve broken it down into parts.

Finding your center, the place where you can be ok (or even great) in this moment, is both a compassionate letting go and an owning of your power. It’s also trust. In order for something new to move in, there has to be an open parking spot – so that means letting go to create the space, and trusting something else will fill it! What you think about all the time is what will most likely fill the space.

You don’t have to worry that every single fleeting thought you have is creating your reality. It’s really the somewhat obsessive thinking about the past or worrying about what you don’t want to have happen. Because eventually, what you think about, you create.

Having said this, the willingness to lean into the pain, just enough to nudge it a little further into your past, creates more space. Leaning into the pain means acknowledging it exists. The Power comes in when you know that you have a choice about how much of it you will own, live and think about all the time. Then, it’s making the very important choice to let it go. This usually happens a little bit at a time, but you must “let it go” if you want to own your power, and allow what is next for you to arrive. It doesn’t mean you have to forget, for example, a lost loved one – It means the loss can be blessed, and compassionately reframed in order to move into The Now.

We also hear a lot about “being present”, or, being in the moment, but what does that really mean? We spend so much of our time in our heads, trying to be present, that the NOW can be pretty elusive. Or, we lack the tools to keep us present, and swirl into old patterns, habits and thoughts. It really takes some mental discipline to initiate the choice to be present.  (To get you started, I’ve created a brief meditation to begin practicing being present. See the link below.)

I spend a fair amount of time talking with women about letting go of what no longer serves them: old habits, negative thinking, etc., and paying attention to the language they use when describing something they are trying to let go of. (that keeps you stuck in the past or worried about the future, not present.) When you continually say “I can’t seem to lose the weight, “I’m always tired”, or, “I can’t stop thinking about him”, it is also reinforcing negative thoughts, and therefore, behaviors, that no longer serve you.

Instead, try reframing the concern into an affirmation to be repeated, “I am so happy and grateful now that I have enormous energy to move through my day and accomplish all I want to do.” At the very least, stop talking about it in a negative way. This starts to retrain the brain. Don’t keep talking about how tired you are. When you hear yourself doing that, click into your affirmation, and replace the thought. (more brain retraining!)

Because thoughts create feelings, which then inspires you to certain action, It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. When accepting and letting go of events in your past is done with self-love and compassion, it allows you the freedom to recognize your power to move into a new and delicious future. It’s a choice. Choosing to only focus on what you want to let go of, keeps you powerless, beholden to the memory of your pain.

I am not suggesting that it is an easy thing. When our hearts are heavy, we feel loneliness, pain or fear, moving past that can feel overwhelming. But what is your choice? To stay stuck in the pain — or to move through it.

Next week, we’ll talk about Owning Your Power…In the meantime, leave an opening. Listen to the meditation included in this week’s blog. It’s under 15 minutes, and can create an opening for awareness to step in. Enjoy. Would love your feedback!

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