What is your relationship with money? There’s a good chance it has a somewhat sordid tinge to it. Most of us are a bit ashamed to talk about how we really feel about it. We’d rather talk about details of our sexual intimacies, than our real relationship with money. Our deep, intimate relationship with money is really just like any other relationship. And, it is spiritual.

Like everything in life, money is a form of energy. It is used as a form of exchange. What we attach to money is what gets us in trouble. If we come from the premise that everything is energy, or spirit, when we delve into it, we realize that money and abundance can come in an instant.

When we want to share our gifts with the world yet won’t gracefully allow a reciprocal energetic exchange of money based on the value we are providing, we are saying no to spirit. We are also saying no to the people we could help if we were out there doing our divine work.

So what happens when we have the idea of manifesting money but it doesn’t actually materialize? We set intentions, do affirmations, but still, we don’t see it showing up. The answer is straightforward: we self-sabotage.

We spend so much time focusing on the fear of not having, instead of allowing and serving, that we literally block money from showing up in our lives. As with everything, what you focus on, you grow. If you are focusing on money fears, you manifest something to be afraid of.

When faced with the reality of money and its necessity in our lives, many fear-based emotions and thoughts show up: guilt, anxiety, insecurity, and feelings of unworthiness. Push past the discomfort of the emotions and negative self-talk and get in line with your values, and your own value! Then do the work needed to achieve your desires.

Additionally, how we deal with money on a day-to-day basis can wreak havoc with the energetic money cycle. If we are not living in integrity with money, money will not flow toward us. For example, do you rationalize keeping the extra change or under-tipping a waiter or paying staff “under the table?”  If the way we handle money goes against our fundamental belief system, then there is an energetic discordance there, blocking the natural free-flow of money.

Just like any ideal relationship, our relationship with money should be one of mutual respect. However, when we push money away (whether consciously or subconsciously) we push away a partner.  When we think money holds all the answers to our insecurities, it’s as if we’ve lost our self in a relationship. When money wields power over us, it is like being in an abusive relationship.  Having a relationship with money is inevitable, as money is something we use daily.

Think about the energetic draw you create with your attitudes, no matter how buried. If we stifle our access, through spirit, to abundance. we are stifling spirit, blocking the energy, and engaging in a hostile relationship with money, even if unintentionally.

Are you choking the abundance? What kind of language do you use when referring to money? As Don Miguel Ruiz says, “Be impeccable with your word.” What we speak has power. We have an emotional reaction to a thought, which is even stronger when it is spoken, and then we behave accordingly. So, be wary of the next time you say things like, “I’m so broke” or “I’ll never get to travel to St. Croix.” You are putting spirit on notice that you are willing to accept a lack of abundance.

Our relationship with money is an old one and is influenced by stuff from our childhood.  Like the saying, “How you do anything is how you do everything,” think about how you treat your relationship with money, and you may find that treatment elsewhere in your life. This requires real honesty with yourself.

If money is a problem in your life, is it because you feel you’re not worthy enough to have money, or that you believe that money is not spiritual, or do you have a poverty mentality? Consider the attitudes you inherited about money. Do they resonate with who you truly are?

So, in summary:

• Look to fulfill your spiritual contracts with those who need and want your services.
• Pay attention to your relationship with money — both past messages about it, and how it plays out in your life.
• How might you be choking off abundance?
• Look at money simply as energy.
• Ask yourself: Where does my poverty mentality show up? How do I speak about money? Am I living with integrity in the ways I work with money?

And when you can, tip the waitress a little extra. You’ll feel great.

Affirmation of the Week

Today I welcome money into my life with love, like any good relationship. I release my grip on money a little more each day, knowing it is effortlessly flowing toward me as I do my good work in the world.