First of all, what’s a blind spot? Like in a car, it’s a place where you have an “obstructed view”…but here, we’re talking about your habits and maybe even your attitudes in your life. You may not see reality as what it is when you are too influenced by things like fears, insecurities, assumptions or limiting beliefs. These personal distortions cause us to behave in old habitual ways that keep us in the status quo – and often, these don’t serve us.
Now, we know that too many times the status quo is simply our subconscious mind not wanting us to change – because change feels too scary to it. Our subconscious wants us to stay the same. When we’re tired, overwhelmed or even just busy, we can fall into “listening” to our subconscious to return to the old ways – and not even realize we’re doing it.
Take the example of my working too many hours. The old Teri thought that the harder she worked, the better person she was, and the more people would like her. Sure, hard work can be a good thing – but not if you’re not working smart OR taking care of yourself. I was working 12-15 hour days without even realizing it. Taking a short lunch break or time for a cup of tea throughout the day simply does not constitute the down time your brain and body need to recover from hard work. Eventually, the body yells at you to stop.
When I got two flus in a row, I listened. Now, the old Teri wouldn’t have noticed. Frankly, she would have been pissed off about how getting sick was stopping her from working. (Truthfully, I was kinda annoyed.) However, as distracted as I was by my work (which honestly, I do love and find terribly exciting. Well, maybe not the tedious details) I had the awareness to say, “Time to stop.”
So, here I am, on a “stay-cation” in New York City.
I need some time away from the computer, from “thinking” and from processing all that I have to do. I want a break from my “to do” list and my responsibilities. I’m thrilled to be in my old stomping grounds, going to concerts and good restaurants as well as simply strolling in the park with my husband, dog and good friends.
Tips for dealing with blind spots:
– Look at where you get stuck habitually in your life. Do you constantly run out of stuff at home, miss appointments, get sick too much or pick the wrong partner?
– Once you identify your “problem area”, look back to see what you do to create that scenario (aka, the “cause”). It’s time to accept 100% responsibility for the “effect” in your life. The cause is your blind spot, or, your behavior that creates the unwanted effect.
– Take time to ponder what habits you have that create that effect. In my example, it was working too many hours. Why did I work too many hours? Because in the past, I thought people would like/ love and respect me more. It felt “right.” It helps to understand why, though it’s not always imperative.
– You may need or want to talk to someone about this. It can often be hard to see what your blind spot is.
We don’t always want to believe we are responsible for our choices, but when you look back at what causes the unwanted effect, you’ll see that you are usually the culprit. This is not a blame game, it’s simply an objective look at changing what’s not working.
So if there’s something that’s not working, keeps happening, or isn’t serving you, take some of these pointers to heart.
Give me a shout if you need a hand. I’m actually quite good at seeing others’ blind spots – as I am sure some of you are, too. (grins)
