I’m an entrepreneur, and a mom. Neither of those jobs came with a clearly delineated job description, and no one said it was going to be easy. There are times when both jobs are so fulfilling and exciting I can hardly contain myself. There are also times when one or the other is wrenchingly difficult and there are long stretches of time when I feel like my head’s gonna explode.  That’s when I’m doing both jobs at high intensity at the same time.

We all have those moments.  They are not the majority of moments, thankfully. But I tell you, when you want to do something that’s really worthwhile – whatever it is to you—it’s going to take some stretching, some deep-diving, heart twisting honesty. You simply have to grow. That is the part of the job description none of us were warned about.

And it’s a trip!

All the tumult and the awkward steps toward growth are okay by me. Why? Because the day I become uber comfortable is the day I know I’m not growing. And I intend to grow until the day I die. And yes, change is uncomfortable. Growing means transformation.  It means being honest with yourself about what you need to learn and what needs to change.

Doing something extraordinary means being extraordinary. It means you have those moments where you feel like your head’s going to explode, and you pull yourself together and get back to it. OR, you take a break. And then, get back to it. Motherhood doesn’t really give you a break. That comes with the territory. But you do have to find times for yourself to fill your oil lamp and put the oxygen mask on. Being an entrepreneur is a constant leap of faith, going headfirst into discomfort— and changing the way you look at things.  No matter what kind of job you’re in, to excel and expand, your goal is a stretch.

When you look at the not so easy parts as growth, you not only tolerate them better, but start to see the opportunity in the hard parts. Today, someone said regarding a difficult person, “He was my Buddha today.”  I loved that. This guy learned to stand in his truth and not care what someone thought about him. He said it was extremely uncomfortable at first. And then he saw he was being pushed toward the opportunity for growth.

I’d also caution you against playing the martyr or victim roles when things get tough. We can all fall into that trap, but it’s an enormous disservice to the success of any endeavor and to your personal development. Feeling like a victim keeps you stuck, waiting for someone to feel sorry for you, rescue you or pay attention to how hard you’re working.  That’s really disempowered thinking. Instead, simply acknowledge that it’s hard.  Sometimes you just need to suck it up, reframe it and move on.

When you’re in the flow, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s deeply fulfilling, almost effortless. Those moments or days are magical. But it simply isn’t going to stay that way all the time. It’s just the nature of the growth process. Giving birth hurts AND it’s fulfilling. Whatever dream you’re birthing requires that it not be easy all the time.  It requires that you cultivate awareness of what is tolerable, what will stretch you, what will force growth. It also requires from you an increased strength in areas you might never have thought possible.

Besides, it’s utterly impossible to grow without some difficulty.

Seek the opportunity and say, “Bring it on, Universe. I’ve got some new moves.”

In Chinese medicine, we say that yang is always turning into yin, and vice versa. We’re always in a state of moving into something else (day into night, season into season) . A few weeks ago I talked about how if you’re not growing, you’re decaying. Along those lines, bigger transitions are now ripe with opportunity because you have the bigger energy of change around you.

During a season change, you can feel the earth and animals start to prepare for its next phase. This time of year, chipmunks store nuts, birds fly south, fruit falls off of trees. The big harvest begins.

So how does one “use the energy” to create opportunity? First, realize it’s easy to get overwhelmed during times of transition – If you’re a mom, it’s crazy shopping time: buying school supplies and clothes, making schedules for after school activities and figuring out who’s driving whom where – and how the heck you’re going to get some time in for your own work, the gym, or even a manicure! If you’re a gardener, it’s a busy season of harvesting, turning over the garden and maybe planting fall crops. If you’re an entrepreneur, it’s time to speed up the business, get more focused on transitional activities and perhaps try to juggle it all with kids or another job. Even as homeowners, we begin to think about putting away the outdoor furniture and preparing the home for the colder months.

It’s safe to say that this is a period of readjustment: moving back into your life as it used to be before you slowed down during the summer, and making plans for your next “school year” of life.

To use the energy of these transitions, you have to be decisive. You have to take action and know where you are going, what you want, and at least some actionable steps to take. You absolutely don’t have to know how everything is going to manifest but you do need to take responsibility for moving toward creating more of what you want.

Here are some tips for transitioning into our next season with power and grace. Think of this as an opportunity to:

1. Get reacquainted with yourself, your business, your goals.
2. Write out a 4 or 5-year plan. Where do you want to be this time next year, two years from now, and so on.
3. Calendar as much as you can to keep yourself sane.  This is something I really struggle with, but force myself to do with more and more success. Plan time for your work (in all its aspects), family time, vacations, “me” time. Stick to it!
4. Create vision boards. Cut out pictures, images, words that inspire you to really capture what it is you want. Look at it every day! Use all of your senses to engage with your goals and dreams and experience what it will be like to have what you are wishing for.
5. If you’re not a crafty person, go to Pinterest and create some vision boards there. It’s a great place to get ideas and get inspired. Revisit your boards frequently, doing the same as if you’d created it on poster board.
6. Look at what is particular to the upcoming season that you can look forward to. (This is courtesy of my daughter, Madeleine!)
7. Change things that aren’t working. Make a list – write it all out and add that to your goals. PLEASE do it without judgment. Just look at what’s not working and create steps to make it different.
8. Change up your exercise routine, or create one to begin with. It’s a great time to start something new, throw something exciting into the mix.
9. Take time to really enjoy the gradation of the daily changes: the gradual color change of the leaves, the subtle drop in temperature, the apples dropping from the trees, the way the sky seems to change color in fall. Fall is a very visually representative example of change. It’s pretty cool to pay attention to the nuances of it. (Think of it as a metaphor for your own daily life.)
10. Buy some new notebooks J or journals and create a new journal routine to really start paying attention to your life, your changes and all the things you love in your life.