This week I attended a wonderful event in NYC, the Inc. Women’s Summit. The speakers were fabulous and ranged from Laura Fitton, who started HubSpot and is a marketing evangelist, to an inspiring young woman named Lauren Bush Lauren, who has created a movement and business feeding young children around the world.

Of course, Inc. is a magazine focused on growing organizations and businesses. However, the underlying theme – and perhaps they didn’t even realize it – was nurturing. Seriously. Women nurturing business partnerships, social media relationships and importantly, themselves. The underlying message was – there’s no quick fix. Whether you want to change your business or change your life, it takes time.  It’s about your relationship with others AND with yourself.

Can you employ techniques to make growth go faster? Absolutely! (You have to learn them first!) Do you need help to see what you need to do! Yes, Ma’am!

But, to change your life (something I am obviously a big fan of!) you have to be in it for the long haul. That doesn’t mean the work is laborious or even that the prize is so far away that it’s not worth the work. It simply means that changing things that are so built in to who we think we are is a bit of a process. And, it can actually be fun!

We live in a society where everything moves fast. The internet changed everything and we are a culture of split second gratifications. Movie trailers move super fast, switching angles and shots with blinding speed. We take a pill to get rid of a pain in almost no time. What’s the problem with all of that? Inherently, individually, nothing. But the predicament we’re in is that we have lost our attention span to seek and grow, to dive deeply into where we’re stuck and discover what we want to do about it.  We want a pill to distract us from the bad stuff, or make it all go away, or somehow work itself out without our having to do much.

The fact that a coaching intensive weekend is seen as an indulgence is evidence of the fact that we put our own self and growth last. We want the quick pill that will change everything, and we would rather not have to do the work.

We become afraid and the work seems overwhelming.  I remember that feeling. Sometimes it wasn’t something I thought I wanted.  I told myself I couldn’t do it, it was too hard. Besides, life is pretty good. But when I bit the bullet, the results so outweighed any discomfort, confusion and fear. It changed my life.

And, here’s the thing. It’s only overwhelming if we believe it to be so.

Is it always easy? Not necessarily. Is it convenient? Usually not. Is it worth it? Yes. Because it will change your life.

We have the standard excuses: I don’t have the money. (If you had to find the money for something, you would. Why are you not important enough? If your refrigerator broke, I bet you’d think that was important enough and… the money would be there.) I don’t have the time. (If you don’t take the time to feed yourself, who will take care of those you take care of? How will that impact those around you when you are not fully happy, fulfilled, and thus productive and energized for life?) I don’t want to leave my kids. (Your kids will be fine – in fact – even better for having a happier mom. And it’s just a weekend.)

The other problem is that we’re doing “okay” – the pain of not changing doesn’t feel real enough to seem worth the effort. So I ask you, what will happen if you don’t do the thing you want to do to make a change… whatever it is.

There’s a saying in the personal development field: “New level, new devil, ” meaning, as we reach a new level of growth or completion, our natural inclination is to go to the next level – and with it, comes a whole new host of fears, and – let’s be honest – excuses.

Changing a lifetime of false belief systems and learning tools to employ to take active steps toward growing into the person you are here to become takes a little time. And, it takes changing your environment. Look around. What does your environment remind you of? Parts of your home or office may be beautiful, but if you’re honest, does it remind you of where you’re stuck? The boxes in the corner, the messy desk, the pictures of “the old days,” the dishes that need to be done.  The things that reinforce the story that you will never have what you want.

I know I’m pushing a few buttons right now, and well, that’s okay. My job is to take a stand for you. To be your biggest cheerleader. To be the one who asks the questions you don’t want to ask yourself . The one who pushes for your highest authentic self to shine through.

I want this so badly for you, I feel it physically.

So, if you don’t believe in yourself, can you believe in MY belief in you? Can you be “in it” for the long term? Will you invest in your own dreams and goals?  Dive in. The water’s actually quite wonderful.

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