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Perfectionism is Really Fear in Disguise

Fear3Here’s something I’d like you to learn: Everyone is scared.

They’re scared of something. Sometimes we feel like we have to know everything and know it perfectly before we let the world see it. The painting has to be perfect, the website has to be exemplary, the business concept has to be 100% flawless. And by the way, many also believe that we have to simultaneously be cover-girl beautiful (on some level) and as fit as an athlete or we don’t have our picture taken or shoot videos for our websites or even family.

Sometimes we’re scared of our boss, the guy or gal not loving us, the piece of writing being a flop.

Fears are really just stories we tell ourselves about future events that will befall us. We believe them and act as if they’re true. The absolute majority of times these fears will not materialize.

It’s normal to have the fears, but when it stops you from living, from being all you can be, then that’s gotta stop, sisters! We can’t keep hiding behind the guise of perfection.  We can’t not travel because we’re afraid something will happen at home, can’t sit behind our computers hiding our genius, and we can’t stay home because we’re afraid of getting hurt again by a lover.

When you accept that everything already IS perfect, it becomes much easier to step out in the ways we’d been afraid of.  I like to look at it this way: if we didn’t have struggles, we’d never grow!

I get it. I’m terrified sometimes. I put myself out there and sometimes get nasty emails from people (not often, but it has happened). The bigger my platform grows, the more opportunity for people to disagree. I have decided that that is okay! Because otherwise, I’d stay home hiding behind my computer.

Here’s another thing I’ve learned: what matters to me is that I’m doing my best, am kind and good, helping people with my work and connected to my god. Caring what everyone else thinks about me is, frankly, exhausting.

Do I fall into it? Of course! Was I a little embarrassed when the delivery guy showed up the other day at 4pm and I was still in my lounge pants because I’d been writing all day? A tiny bit. But years ago, it would have been worse.

Each time you take a leap, here’s what to do:

  • ask yourself why you are afraid. Really dig into it. It’s important to acknowledge it and not repress it
  • decide to do something a little brave, more daring and make it a little uncomfortable. If you’re not uncomfortable, you’re not changing.
  • once you begin acting, let your subconscious know that you are doing something different. Be very aware of why you are doing this.
  • as I say to my clients, put your helmet on and do it anyway.

It’s only through repetition—doing that uncomfortable thing over and over—that you get used to it and it becomes your new default – instead of the fear. That’s how you break through fears!

Want to learn more about it? Give me a shout!

AFFIRMATION OF THE WEEK:

Today I will do something that pushes me to do something I fear. That is how I will grow.

I remember that fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real.

 

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