Confession time: I am a “doer” I struggle with the idea of really sitting down and being “unproductive” and quiet – though when I do, I must admit, I’m pretty good at it! But it’s still something I have to muscle myself into. Even coming to Italy for a month – a rare opportunity (for Americans, anyway) created some angst in me, crazy though that sounds. How will I work? What about my clients, my business?

I am such a doer that on many days I even have to talk myself into sitting in meditation or exercising, because I have “so much to do.”  I like to fix what’s out of place, and move on to the next thing. That is something I’ve worked on my entire life.

I am convinced I will die (hopefully at the age of about 137 because I have so much I want to DO and experience!) book in my hand, a song in my heart, an idea germinating just after the application of the previous. That is ok. But, I want to cultivate “the slow” more – gain even more appreciation for the moments I am active and the moments when I am passive.

Our brains are programmed to see what’s out of place, what’s wrong and what can be improved upon. It’s part of the evolutionary process. However, we all move so damned fast that it’s no wonder evolution has not caught up with us. And it shouldn’t, in my humble opinion, at least in this case.

Slowing down means appreciating. It means being grateful and in awe of these beautiful moments of life. The other morning I awoke with the phrase, “every moment you are alive is beautiful” strumming in my mind. No idea if it was a remnant from a dream, or a divine moment, but it has stuck with me. When it rained again, I said to myself, “every moment I am alive is beautiful” and suddenly, I noticed how beautiful the rain clouds were.

Yes, improving one’s life is a good thing. But what about appreciating where you are, as well? I believe we co-create our reality. So that means we are exactly where we should be. In other words, whatever we are here to experience and learn is put in front of us. But we have to see it. Really see it.

When was the last time you looked at your partner, or someone you love, and really really looked at them, noticed the changes in their skin since when you first met, the way their eyes crinkle when they smile? When was the last time you touched them and lingered over it, really feeling the love between you? Or, how about the last time you stopped and appreciated all the good in your life? We’re always so busy trying to get to the next place. But where you are now is yesterday’s next place and what we thought about then is what got us here. So appreciating every single little moment and breath gets us to the next moment and gives us more to appreciate.

Thinking everything needs to be fixed or changed creates a life that needs constant fixing.

This is not some polyannic utopia I’m talking about. I’ve recently learned a finer appreciation for the two hour lunch (though the first few times I was tapping my fingers on the table, “where is the darned check”), the walk at dusk, noticing the wildflowers and the cloud formations (even if it has rained for 26 out of 30 days!) There is a soft appreciation that can well up within when you learn to slow.

I am calling it “the slow” because that is what it takes to appreciate where you are. It’s shifting into a lower gear, letting yourself sit at the stop sign a bit longer to watch the old man cross the street with his portly pup, feel the lingering touch of a hand, appreciate the rich smell of a stew simmering all day. That is the abundance of life.  The elusiveness of the moment appreciated.

In order to cultivate “the slow” – ask yourself where in your life can you linger a bit longer around:

• a meal
• a conversation
• a touch
• a question
• a thought
• a romantic moment

Sitting and pondering is another nice way to cultivate the slow – which cultivates the pleasure in life. Cultivating the slow gives you a deeper sensuality, an enriched perspective, a brilliant miracle. For it is in the slow of contemplation that miracles and inspiration occur. They don’t come out of the rushing, the panic, the fear, the doing. They manifest when you are in a receptive mode.

So ask yourself where can you dawdle a bit, loiter, smell the roses (or baby’s breath or stew) to cultivate the slow, protracted beauty that this life can give us.

AFFIRMATION of the Week: 

Today I will cultivate the slow by pausing whenever possible to just be. I will pay attention to each moment that I can and appreciate all the good I have in my life.

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