Four years ago, when I married my husband, whom I adore, I planned on using as many flowers from my garden as possible at the wedding. Peonies were at the top of my list.  (I’m a tad addicted to gardening.) However, that year, the peonies threatened to bloom quite early and I feared they would be spent. A very experienced local farmer and I were chatting about the predicament when she suggested that I bring the peonies still in bud to the refrigerator in her farm stand, and that should keep them closed until I wanted them.

Julie was very generous to us, allowing us to use up a very large portion of her refrigeration for about two weeks during a tremendously busy season for her.

She brilliantly predicted when to take them out and the timing was phenomenal. The wedding was gorgeous and I was just thrilled to have my own beloved flowers in my arms, and those of my daughters and mother, as well as on every table at the reception.

To me, the peony represents big luscious love and abundance, and even more so after that magical day four years ago.  Peonies are both soft and sturdy, fragrant and beautiful. I’ve loved them since I was a child. When I get caught in a cycle of repetitive thoughts that usually involve worry, fear, or insecurity – I use the image of the peony to refocus my mind instantly, replacing my thoughts with the image that represents love, beauty, abundance, and prosperity to me. It is a simple cue to get myself back into a coherent state of emotions and thinking. In cognitive behavioral therapy, this would be known as thought replacement, but I see it in a deeper way, as well.

I replace my negative thoughts with a powerful visual image to pull me deeper into a state of love and coherence, remembering what is good in my life. Doing this allows me to love what is. Why is a coherent state (when your thoughts and emotions are in alignment) so important to transformation? The Institute of HeartMath did a study on intention and coherence. They explain:

“Heart-focused intention can change the conformation {shape and structure} of a closely controlled DNA sample in a test tube. Coherence is a state marked by more ordered, or coherent, interactions between the body’s various systems, including more ordered heart rhythms.” [1]

Their study showed that by setting an intention with emotion, as we did in last week’s guided visualization, (if you haven’t done it yet, click here: http://terigoetz.com/2014/guided-visualization-change-life-decide-change/) you can literally change the shape and structure of DNA. Yes, there is scientific proof that you can change your genes!

See, we embed our emotional memories in our bodies – and emotions are like the language given to the body via chemical signals from the brain. That process in turn sends signals to our mind to think certain thoughts. Those thoughts then reinforce the emotion, resignaling the chemical output from the brain. It goes back and forth in a feedback loop: thoughts create emotions; emotions remembered in the body create thoughts. It can be a vicious cycle if it’s not interrupted.

As we know, you get what you think about. If you can’t change your negative thoughts, what do you think you’re going to get?

The peony, to me, is just a trigger to return to a state of coherence where my mind and heart are in alignment. I remember that I want to focus on what I want to happen and not on my fears or worries. I realign myself with an abundant sense of faith, an attitude of trust and positivity and, as Esther Hicks says, I “tell the story of what I want, not what I don’t want” in my own head.

By telling that story, I change the chemicals released by my brain. The result? I disempower the emotions of fear lodged in my body. Dissolve them and release them. This is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. Ideally, you also need to do guided visualizations to get you into a theta brain wave state to access the subconscious that houses those emotions and habits.

I know it sounds like a lot – but I’ve given you a couple of weeks of strategies to get to work on changing the things that keep you stuck, in fear and worry, or that you know are sabotaging your success and happiness. I want to give you another tool for the toolbox. Use it to realign with the law of attraction so that you can attract more of what you want – not want you don’t want.

Who’d have thought that a peony could have so much power? So, what do you think your peony is…?

How many times are you going to push down that little voice that says, “Hello, remember me?” It’s that part of you that got lost in the dust of every day life. The woman who, by default, let her dreams wait?

The problem with reinventing yourself, finding your true purpose, is that too often it feels like it can wait.

“Life is pretty good.”

“Let me get the kids out of high school first.”

“I should be happy with what I have”

“I’ll get to that when ……”

But, do you want just a “good enough” life?  When is it time to give a little breathing space to that woman crammed into a box that doesn’t fit?  A little time to venture out into a new world?

Too often, you spend so much time looking back (with regret or sadness) and not looking forward (reacting to fears, what ifs) that creating what you truly want (or some parts of it) feels like a mountain to climb, full of a whole new set of what ifs, or guilt or a new fear… of failure.

If you want something to change, you have to make the choice to do it. In other words, you need to take control of your future.

In the next few weeks, I’m going to be continuing on the “find your purpose” theme. To start, here’s a little exercise that is extremely helpful to get your juices flowing toward breaking down the box.

Answer the following questions in your journal. You must write this down. The act of writing is a commitment in and of it self – it tells the universe that you’re preparing for something new. It tells your subconscious that you’re looking at life from a different perspective.

• If I had all the time in the world, what would I do?
• If money were no object, what would I like to spend my time doing?
• What are the top 3 things I am most passionate about? (Not what you think you should feel passion for, but what really floats your boat.)
• What am I simply tolerating in my life?

Give yourself time to really lean into this exercise. The more you write free flow, without editing, without preconceived ideas, the easier it will be to tap into your inner guidance, your inner knowing.

This is a great place to start. Next week, I’m going to send you a guided visualization to help you take the next step on your journey of finding your purpose.

And by the way, have fun with this. Your future is pretty exciting!