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Do You Feel “Invisible” in Your Work or Relationships?

teri goetz, terigoetz.com. personal coaching, business coaching, business and life advice,  personal development, personal growth, feel invisible, feeling invisible, i feel invisible
Photo credit: Gallo Photos

You may have heard the phrase, “new level, new devil.”  Here’s the funny thing about looking at that devil – it’s usually YOU. You, with your false belief system that tells you it’s safer to stop than to grow and change. The part of you that’s terrified of being truly seen for who you really are.

The devil that sabotages your earnest attempts at changing and growing is the part of you that is scared. One thing that happens is that this devil believes that once you actually get what you desire, everything could change, like:

  • My friends or family will be jealous (and perhaps abandon me or make fun of me)
  • I will be ostracized
  • People will think I’m conceited or full of myself
  • I might lose it all anyway
  • Eventually, they’ll find out I’m a fraud
  • I will get noticed. Getting noticed can be painful.

That last one is a doozy for a lot of women. Here’s how that comes to be. At some crucial point in your life, your subconscious created the false belief that being noticed is bad or unsafe. It gets you in trouble. You believe that people you care about get angry with you or even abandon you on some level you when you:

  • express your opinions (especially if they differ)
  • ask too many questions
  • become quite successful (maybe you have the success others with less self-esteem wished they had)
  • step away from the way things are done in your family/group of friends, etc. (and this is usually a lack or negative mindset)

So how does this manifest? If you own a business, you spend most of your time hiding behind a computer, or using all the tasks you have to do as excuses. You hide at a networking event, waiting for people to come up to you (or maybe secretly hoping they don’t) or not taking forward steps to grow your business. It means you are your worst enemy (I hear this all the time from women entrepreneurs I work with!)

When you go out in a social environment, you might find that you energetically “shrink”…meaning you kind of hope no one comes up to talk to you or asks you questions because you might flub it, or forget their name or something equally embarrassing.

In total transparency, let me tell you what happened to me about eight or nine months ago. I was facing a new level within myself – of really getting out there with my business and my message. I was a little scared, though unaware that my fear sometimes reduced me to virtual invisibility. I was at an event and ran into several people I’d met and interacted with before. They didn’t remember me. (I was kind of surprised because these interactions were actually not really forgettable!) Then, because this was my coach’s event, those of us who worked with him were called into a room to talk about our experience. We all stood around the table while each of us was introduced. I was standing in plain sight, and I was completely looked over. I wasn’t seen.

Lesson learned. Quickly. Duly noted. Done with that.

In that moment, I got it. I was making myself energetically invisible! I knew I was being called to play a bigger game, but I didn’t know if I could do it. I knew I was good at what I did but this called for a much bigger game. And I got a little scared, because as illogical as it sounds, my subconscious still had some junk around this that had to be removed. In other words, I had to change my story. A little bit more.

These are all stories. Do you realize that? These are the stories your subconscious tells you to keep you small and safe and unseen. But the problem is that your true purpose, your inner core, your divine light is screaming to get out. You shove it down so swiftly and often quietly, that you pretend you don’t notice it.

That’s why you keep doing the same thing you want to change over and over and over again…and then wonder why.

It’s very common for women to shrink so as to appear less than their powerful, magnificent selves. This false humility is somehow viewed as a great trait. But the truth is, that is not what the world or spirit wants for you!

This shrinking so that others don’t feel bad is frankly a load of BS! You are here for a reason, a purpose – and that purpose is not to be invisible. It’s to get your message and your deeds out into the world so that you can help more people – I don’t care if it’s a business you own, your work in corporate, or the kids, families and charities you touch by being a stay at home mom. It’s all the same thing.

I don’t mean help at the expense of yourself. I mean help because of who you are inherently. Your gifts deserve to come out. You want to make a difference to the world you live in. And, the world is waiting for you.

Being invisible is not polite. It is frankly insulting to the creator who put this whole gorgeous shebang together!

I’ll end with the now commonly read, forever inspiring quote by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”

So why not rename that devil, and call it what it is. It is just fear. And fear is just a story.

And by the way, YOU get to tell your story YOUR way.

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