Three very strong words ~ but really, what do they mean? To me, true power is the strength to live with purpose and conviction, and in alignment with our true values. Power comes when we no longer (really) care that someone doesn’t like us or we feel rejected. This allows us to be ok with who we are. Power is inner strength.

Sure, there are times we doubt ourselves, feel insecure or less than. That is when choice comes in. If we are operating from our power base, or inner strength, we acknowledge that the “negative” or “threatened” thoughts and feelings we are having are not actually reality. (They are just thoughts and feelings!) They may be something to learn from, or, stretch beyond in order to grow. Owning our power means looking at issues with some distance, and not getting as personally involved. It’s having some objectivity.

Too often, women give their power away. When someone hurts us, we feel it, sure. But, too often we allow our minds to perseverate on the hurt to the point where it’s occupying way too much of our psychic energy. That gives our power away to the other person. We can choose to acknowledge the pain, create some distance and let go. (Remember last week’s post on letting go?)

Here’s the biggest change you can make to step into your power: Know your thoughts and feelings are under your control; they do not control you. Change your thoughts and you can literally change your brain and it becomes your default not to take things personally. Your emotions will follow.

It’s really about gaining a bit more objectivity and loving where you are. Forgiving yourself and others doesn’t hurt either. It’s a powerful release of negative energy that allows us to propel into living more in positive realms.

To summarize:

What power is:

• Being connected to a true sense of purpose in your life
• Capitalizing on your strengths
• Knowing you are in control of your thoughts and emotions
• Forgiving
• Taking care of yourself
• Taking responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings and behaviors
• Realizing that everything in life is an experience to live and learn from
• Non-judgment
•  Sharing your divine gifts with the world
• Inner peace
• Being present
• Letting go

This is what power is not:

• Force
• Winning so someone else can lose
• Caring what everyone thinks of you
• Being ruled by your thoughts and feelings
• Judging others (because it means you also judge yourself pretty harshly)
• Keeping tallies in relationships as to who does what more (or less.)
• Wanting others to feel sorry for you.
• Feeling sorry for yourself
• Taking things personally
• Obsessively thinking of the goal, and not the process
• Acting as if you have no control over your life
• Living with guilt
• Taking on too many “shoulds” or “need to’s”
• Blaming others or the world for your situation or feelings

This is a lifelong journey, of course. I write this because once we shine a light on our less helpful behaviors, it diminishes their hold on us. Different people will demonstrate their power in different ways, but, as Rumi says, “”Outside ideas of right doing and wrong doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

(photo source: theberry.com)

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