We all get stuck in old patterns of thinking and behaving. So often I hear people say, “It’s just the way I am.” Yea, well, it’s just the way we all are, but let’s be honest. You CAN teach an old dog new tricks!  (And modern science proves it!) You can always make the decision to change old behaviors that are not serving you.  Besides, “just the way you are” is learned behavior. You weren’t born afraid or anxious, but to be the fullest expression of who you truly are at your core.

First, of course, you have to identify the behaviors that I’m talking about. One way to do that is to take an honest look at what worked in 2013. Pat yourself on the back for those successes! Too often we don’t appreciate what we accomplish and what goes well! Then look at what didn’t work so well in 2013. Write it down. Once you have an honest appraisal, decide which of the things that didn’t work in 2013 – when they are successful – will create the most transformation, change, or success for you in 2014.

Now you have a list of things that did not go as you’d hoped in 2013. What to do with it? Yes, you are going to make some changes.

• First– decide what the causes were of those unsatisfactory end results.  Rather than doing what we tend to do all too easily—focus on what we don’t have, don’t want, wish we didn’t do—reframe your focus and look at the behaviors that got you to those undesirable end results.

Let’s use an example of an end result—not enough money—and look at behaviors and attitudes that cause that result. At the Rich & Prosperous Woman event, money woes came up a lot. We often want more of it, feel guilty for having it, attach our personal value to how much we make, or blame others for our not having the income we desire (like, “my kids take up all of my time” or “no one will buy my services”). So, the result is not enough money. What you need to do is look at why.

• The answer to the question WHY is actually the CAUSE.

When you change the cause, you change the effect!

Focusing on what’s wrong, as I always say, just attracts more of exactly what you don’t want.

• The tricky (and yet most effective) part comes when we look at the cause of the why. (Sorry, I know that sounds confusing – but let me explain!) This is a deeper layer than just knowing the cause– and this is what really makes the difference.

Let’s continue with the same example. We don’t just do things in a vacuum to sabotage our success, stop us from taking advantage of opportunities, or create excuses for not doing what would make us more successful. These causal behaviors come from subconscious beliefs created when we were younger. (Those beliefs are the causal forces behind our causal behaviors that result in the unsatisfactory results on your list.)

When you believe you are not good enough or worthy, that money is a bad thing (for whatever reason), or that being successful will alienate others (interestingly, a common subconscious belief) you will not change your behaviors unless you consciously address this subconscious belief.

So, how do you do this? Once you identify the cause, followed by the why of the cause, you then need to start taking actions that are in complete defiance of the why — and alert your subconscious to the fact that you are actually doing something different and out of your comfort zone in order to change the old paradigm.

It actually looks like this:

• You know you are not making enough money.
• You also know the cause, for example that you don’t take the right action in your business. Perhaps you do not network or get out from behind your computer. (That’s the cause of the effect of not making enough money).
• You know that your not meeting people is hurting your business, but you can’t seem to muster the drive to get out and meet these new people.
• You bang your head against the wall or beat yourself up for not doing the things that will improve your business. 

The big change comes when you acknowledge where your inaction comes from, for example a deep seated fear of success. Maybe you fear success because you are wary of what others will think or do if you become successful, because when you were a kid, somehow you got the message that successful people are abandoned by loved ones.  Once you become aware of whatever the why of your cause IS, you can then tell your subconscious it’s time to change it.

So, you make a decision. You’ll start networking. You’ll give talks. Whatever it will be for you.  You put these things on your calendar to remind yourself to actually create these opportunities. You say something to yourself along the lines of: “Subconscious, I am changing my behaviors in order to have the success I want and to end this paradigm that I can’t be financially successful.” You can remind your subconscious of this plan repeatedly until it gets the picture. Once you’ve informed yourself what you plan to do, you proceed to act differently. And the thing is, you will have a heightened awareness that things are different now. This is the only way to tap into those subconscious beliefs that are keeping you stuck.

To summarize:

1. Identify the problem (aka, the effect)
2. Identify the cause of the problem (and stop obsessively thinking about the problem)
3. Identify the why of the cause (the false belief system in your subconscious that usually came from childhood which causes you to behave in a certain, unhelpful way)
4. Make the decision to act differently (and out of your comfort zone) to create something new
5. Tell your subconscious that when you are doing this new behavior you are actually tapping into your subconscious and changing this old paradigm and false belief
6. Continue acting this way until the new behavior becomes ingrained as the new default, rather than the self-sabotaging behaviors that have stopped you in the past 

Until it understands that it is actually holding you back, your subconscious may try to “protect you” by tempting you to fall back into old, habitual patterns. Resist.

This is a process, and it takes time. Be patient and loving with yourself, but remain determined. Remember: make the decision that things will be different now, and remind your subconscious why. This is a very effective way to change old behaviors.

Bring in the new year with a new attitude. You don’t have to make resolutions, just decisions–and keep acting on behalf of your new decision until it become the new cause of great success!

Gold dust? It’s not what you think. I’m obviously not talking about the excessive gifts, commercialism, or holiday glitz.  I’m talking about the rich gold of the abundance of good in your life.  A richness in satisfaction. A wealth of things to be grateful for.

Honestly, it’s a little hard to write about something when the words I have to use have become clichéd to the point where we glaze over when we read them. Everyone is talking about abundance versus lack. So, let’s take it a step deeper. I want you to go beyond the simple journaling about all that you are grateful for, thinking abundant thoughts – both hugely important to staying in the vibration of creating more things to be grateful for.  I want to talk about how to step into the abundance.  (And I’m going to get a little woowoo on you here.)

Of course, it begins in the mind, one of the greatest tools we have to work with.  Everything that has been invented, from the light bulb to the iPad, was first conceived in the mind.  I hope you have some goals in your mind. If you don’t, you should, because if you can conceive of it, you can create it, just like the light bulb or iPad. But first, you have to formulate the idea in your mind.

So, as you are moving through the holiday season, and doing some planning for 2014, let’s talk about how ideas come to fruition and how to grab some of that “gold dust” and make it a reality.

This “gold dust” that I’m talking about is really the etheric, spiritual, energetic field of the source of our lives. It precedes us into situations, and acts like a magnet for the things we are thinking about. It is the energy of “more life” and what we have to be grateful for.

Look at it this way: since everything created first began as an idea, where do you think the idea came from? When you tap into source, you are stepping into that “gold dust” of the spirit, where things are first created.

A great way to access that concept is to think of it as unseen gold dust particles that swirl around you and throughout the world. They have a charge to them. So do your thoughts. Imagine you could polarize these particles with your thoughts. Can you picture the gold dust swirling and forming into something a bit more concrete?

You can also do this when you sit down to plan your 2014 goals. Imagine yourself being in this gold energy of success. Picture yourself being the person you need to be to accomplish these tasks. Imagine it being actionable but with as little effort as possible. See yourself accomplishing each task as you move through your planning.

This is the natural time to focus on the upcoming year.  Filled with great hopes, we can choose to see a golden vision for our future. But, I also want to acknowledge that there’s also a lot of emotion that comes up during this time of year – we miss people, get annoyed by family members, feel disappointed when things don’t match expectations. But, there’s also an energy of hopefulness and that is what we need to tap into and focus on in order to stay in the gold-dust-of-creation mode.

Guilt or conflict about whether you should be prosperous neutralizes your efforts to become prosperous, so let’s leave that out of it, okay? Bye bye guilt and conflict!

Here are some “gold dust” strategies for planning 2014:

1. Light a candle. As you do, set the intention for 2014 and visualize your goals clearly.
2. Close your eyes and imagine you are sitting in a swirling mist of gold dust all around you.
3. Look for things to be grateful for in your life and feel how good that feels. Come up with as many of these “gold” feelings of gratitude for every detail you can.
4. With all of this good feeling, realize that the gold dust is growing and thickening into a more and more beautiful creation.
5. Just begin to let your visions for 2014 be formed in the gold dust. What does it look like for you next year? What will be your lightning rod moments? Who is with you? What have you created? Really spend some time sitting with this.
6. Start writing down your goals by the month – at least one per month. Then, create an overview goal for the year. (See last week’s posting)
7. Just sit with this for awhile, basking in how great it will feel when you accomplish these golden goals.
8. Write more details around each month’s goal(s) as desired.
9. Reflect often on your goals. You can do this anywhere, anytime.  Sitting in a snowed in airport, waiting in holiday shopping lines, or in the shower.
10. When you feel yourself waiver, reinvigorate your vision by tapping into that gold dust feeling again.

Ask yourself all the while, “who do I need to be to accomplish these goals?” – and BE that person as you take action on them. Don’t “work toward them” – behave as if they are a certainty. They are happening. Act and think  “from” that vision of your desire.

You’re merely carrying out your version of the iPad invention that came to your gold- dust mind.